Saturday, November 28, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
EEEK Where Does the Time Go?
Time
ticking!
I haven't even posted pictures from Halloween.
So much to write about!
Auggie's saw his first play
Arlo had his first bath
Playground trips
Bouncy place
Amish Market
Swim lessons
Arlo's first smiles!
"They" say 4 weeks is too early for infants to show
a social smile, but I say- SUCK IT NAYSAYERS - here is a picture!
Friday, November 13, 2009
Music!
Listening to music with the family.
Arlo is asleep in my lap.
Auggie looks up at certain songs an grins or dances.
He is in the sunroom and alternately plays/fusses.
Dave is occasionally chatting and cleaning in the kitchen
while I play DJ from my laptop. Mostly there is no complaint
with my song selections.
I put on River (Joni Mitchell) and suddenly Dave comes
running into the living room waving his arms above his head.
"LILLITH FAIR!! RUN AWAY AUGGIE RUUUUUUNNNNN"
and back the other way
"LLLIIIILLLIIITH FAIR THE LESBIANS ARE COMINGGGGGG
RUUUUUUUNNNNNNN"
and he returns to the kitchen quietly.
Arlo is asleep in my lap.
Auggie looks up at certain songs an grins or dances.
He is in the sunroom and alternately plays/fusses.
Dave is occasionally chatting and cleaning in the kitchen
while I play DJ from my laptop. Mostly there is no complaint
with my song selections.
I put on River (Joni Mitchell) and suddenly Dave comes
running into the living room waving his arms above his head.
"LILLITH FAIR!! RUN AWAY AUGGIE RUUUUUUNNNNN"
and back the other way
"LLLIIIILLLIIITH FAIR THE LESBIANS ARE COMINGGGGGG
RUUUUUUUNNNNNNN"
and he returns to the kitchen quietly.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Night at Blacho
I hear the door thud and open one eye to see the
silhouette of Auggie in the doorway.
"Come on in"
He crawls in the bed between Dave and I.
Arlo is sleeping in a sidecar on the other side of me.
Within minutes Auggie is plastered up against my
back, one foot working it's way down my yoga pants,
and one hand tangled in my hair.
I lay there awake. Daisy is on the floor snoring.
Arlo is making straining noises and saying "EHH Ehh"
Dave is snoring. Auggie is snoring. Somehow I
manage to doze off.
Awhile later- hours? minutes? I hear Arlo start up again.
"EHH EHHH" he fusses quietly so I put a hand on his
chest and say "shhh" Auggie rootches further up in the
bed and I hear a soft voice. He's singing. I listen more
carefully and realize he's singing "Rock a bye baby on
the treetops...." He's getting half the words wrong, but
the tune is unmistakeably Rock a Bye.
I have to laugh.
silhouette of Auggie in the doorway.
"Come on in"
He crawls in the bed between Dave and I.
Arlo is sleeping in a sidecar on the other side of me.
Within minutes Auggie is plastered up against my
back, one foot working it's way down my yoga pants,
and one hand tangled in my hair.
I lay there awake. Daisy is on the floor snoring.
Arlo is making straining noises and saying "EHH Ehh"
Dave is snoring. Auggie is snoring. Somehow I
manage to doze off.
Awhile later- hours? minutes? I hear Arlo start up again.
"EHH EHHH" he fusses quietly so I put a hand on his
chest and say "shhh" Auggie rootches further up in the
bed and I hear a soft voice. He's singing. I listen more
carefully and realize he's singing "Rock a bye baby on
the treetops...." He's getting half the words wrong, but
the tune is unmistakeably Rock a Bye.
I have to laugh.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Birth
I kept feeling like I must be a total wimp because I wasn't
even that far dilated and I was really hurting. I remember telling
Lisa that I wasn't managing the pain, and she said "yes you are"
"that is exactly what you are doing"
It was then that I realized pain management doesn't mean there is
less pain. It just means you are managing not to freak out. You are
managing to have moments of quiet and peace, but the pain is still
very much there.
The midwife kept telling me to go to my 'happy place'. "Go to your
happy place, lay on the beach and enjoy the sun...." etc.
I kept telling her "The beach ain't it, too much sand would stick to me,
I'd itch and get sweaty !!"
I know I threw up a few times and was relieved because it finally got
rid of the nausea from the car ride. At some point I ended up
laying on the bed, Dave alternately wiping my arms and forehead
with a cool cloth. I found some kind of quiet there and was probably
still for about an hour.
At this point the midwife came in and said I think you need to get
moving. "UGH, don't make me! I'm COMFORTABLE!!" The rest
I was getting felt wonderful. She pushed a little and said she thought
I wasn't making any progress laying in this position. I begrudgingly
got up and started pacing the room. The contractions hurt more.
When the midwife came back in I let her know that she was an
evil witch for making me move.
(At least I laughed when I told her this).
Kate told me that the anesthesiologist was going to come in to ask
questions-that it was just procedure. She came in while I was having
a contraction and asked "Do you want an epidural?" I said no, and
she responded "WHY NOT?!" What an asshole! She kept asking
questions and was completely oblivious to when I was having
contractions. If I waited to breathe through a contraction
before answering her she would say "Hello??" and I'd just hold
up a finger to tell her to wait a minute. Through the entire
night this was the one person that
didn't seem to get it...
Finally she decided to check me again and found that I was dilated to
6 cm.
WHAT!!
WHAT!!!??
ALL THIS TIME AND ONLY A 6!!! YOU'VE GOT TO BE
KIDDING ME!!
She offered to break my water to get things moving and I said yes.
What a frickin weird sensation. It was hard to believe just how
much water there was.
AND
With the next contraction
I
WAS
PRACTICALLY
ON
THE
CEILING.
In retrospect the contractions up to this time were NOTHING.
Now I was in serious pain.
I hopped up and rocked. Buried my face in the towel.
Did everything I had been doing before, but there was NO relief.
"I can't do this!"
"I think I want Stadol"
Lisa responded that stadol might make me sleepy and groggy but
wasn't going to take away the pain.
I really didn't think I could take this pain. this was unlike anything
I'd ever ever experienced. There was not getting away from it.
A contraction would start and get worse and worse and oh my GOD
IT'S EVEN WORSE!!! SHIT!
Suddenly I thought I was going to pass out so I was helped to the
bed where I sort of perched one hip and buried my head in Dave's
shoulder. I was kind of moaning/humming/growling and would
get louder as each contraction hit. They were unbelievably painful.
If Lisa and Dave hadn't been there I probably would've run
screaming naked down the hallway. The nurse hooked me up to
a monitor at this point and Dave could watch the contractions
on the strip. They were so intense I couldn't tell when they were
peaking so he'd watch and tell me "Ok, that's the worst of it" and
the midwife would remind me to try to take a deep breath and
relax in the moments before the next contraction would hit.
At some point a contraction hit and I was moaning and had to
hold my breath and push away from the pain. I heard Lisa say
"Sounds like an urge to push to me!" The midwife checked me
again and said "Yep! she's fully dilated"
At that point there was a lot of activity in the room and
Lisa leaned down and said "You're almost there- look at Kate,
when you see the nurse bustling around getting things ready
you know things are really moving"
It turns out I'd gone from 6cm- 10 cm in 45 minutes.
No wonder it was so intense.
Now the pushing.
Growling
Pushing
At some point the midwife handed me a towel- she held
on to the ends and would do a tug of war with me. This made
pushing much more effective.
We knew this baby was going to be big, so the midwife asked
the Dr. to be present in the room for an extra set of hands.
He came in and introduced himself to everyone.
He grabbed my ginger ale and gave me a sip, picked up the
cloth and wiped my forehead and reassured me that he
thought I was working hard and doing a good job.
We were all impressed with how nice he was.
The rest of the pushing is a blur. It hurt. I pushed as hard as
I could and felt like I was turning my body inside out.
Felt like I was splitting myself in half.
At the same time, pushing was better than not pushing.
Dave stayed right with me, giving me sips of ginger ale in
between pushes and encouraging me. Lisa, Jenny and Kate
took turns holding the towel that I pulled on for pushing leverage.
At one point I looked up and Kate was holding the other end
of the towel. I had to laugh. She is so tiny I thought I'd fling her
right over my head into the wall. Lisa later told me that
Kate was sliding across the floor from my pull and Lisa had to
put a foot in the way to block her.
Finally the baby's head was halfway out, and everything got very
quiet and focused.
The Dr. came over to help because the baby's shoulder was stuck
on my pelvic bone. This was the one thing that I knew the midwives
feared during my pregnancy. It felt like the world held it's breath
for just a moment...
With the next contraction I pushed, the Dr. pushed down hard
on my pelvic bone to alter the shape of the opening and Jenny
turned the shoulders,
and out he slipped!!
After an hour of pushing we got to meet little Arlo!
Baby was placed on my stomach for a few minutes, and then
they had to take him out for a minute to be assessed since there
was meconium in the amniotic fluid.
Dave went out with him and they were back in what seemed
like no time. I got to cuddle him and we all chatted while
Lisa and Kate finished up nursing 'chores'
I asked "HEY, where is this almighty powerful feeling I'm
supposed to have?"
"All these frickin natural birth magical woo woo chicks
always talk about
this burst of ENERGY!!
I'm just EXHAUSTED!!
AND HUNGRY!!
Energy?
HA!"
The room felt peaceful. Lisa hung out for awhile and took some
pictures. Dave snuggled the baby. I ate a bagel and sipped a
cup of coffee.
One of the other midwives came in and congratulated us. Another
nurse peeked in and said hello. Things were surprisingly quiet and
normal. We hung out for about an hour in this room before moving
downstairs to another room.
Dave, Arlo and I were all exhausted. We took a few pictures, and
then dimmed the lights. Dave stretched out in the lounge chair, I
settled in the bed, and Arlo snoozed away.
It wasn't easy, but it was exactly the birth that I had hoped for.
Without the support of the midwife, Kate, Lisa and Dave there is no way
I could've done it.
So THANK YOU
Dave
Lisa
Kate
Jenny
and
Big Doc Red
even that far dilated and I was really hurting. I remember telling
Lisa that I wasn't managing the pain, and she said "yes you are"
"that is exactly what you are doing"
It was then that I realized pain management doesn't mean there is
less pain. It just means you are managing not to freak out. You are
managing to have moments of quiet and peace, but the pain is still
very much there.
The midwife kept telling me to go to my 'happy place'. "Go to your
happy place, lay on the beach and enjoy the sun...." etc.
I kept telling her "The beach ain't it, too much sand would stick to me,
I'd itch and get sweaty !!"
I know I threw up a few times and was relieved because it finally got
rid of the nausea from the car ride. At some point I ended up
laying on the bed, Dave alternately wiping my arms and forehead
with a cool cloth. I found some kind of quiet there and was probably
still for about an hour.
At this point the midwife came in and said I think you need to get
moving. "UGH, don't make me! I'm COMFORTABLE!!" The rest
I was getting felt wonderful. She pushed a little and said she thought
I wasn't making any progress laying in this position. I begrudgingly
got up and started pacing the room. The contractions hurt more.
When the midwife came back in I let her know that she was an
evil witch for making me move.
(At least I laughed when I told her this).
Kate told me that the anesthesiologist was going to come in to ask
questions-that it was just procedure. She came in while I was having
a contraction and asked "Do you want an epidural?" I said no, and
she responded "WHY NOT?!" What an asshole! She kept asking
questions and was completely oblivious to when I was having
contractions. If I waited to breathe through a contraction
before answering her she would say "Hello??" and I'd just hold
up a finger to tell her to wait a minute. Through the entire
night this was the one person that
didn't seem to get it...
Finally she decided to check me again and found that I was dilated to
6 cm.
WHAT!!
WHAT!!!??
ALL THIS TIME AND ONLY A 6!!! YOU'VE GOT TO BE
KIDDING ME!!
She offered to break my water to get things moving and I said yes.
What a frickin weird sensation. It was hard to believe just how
much water there was.
AND
With the next contraction
I
WAS
PRACTICALLY
ON
THE
CEILING.
In retrospect the contractions up to this time were NOTHING.
Now I was in serious pain.
I hopped up and rocked. Buried my face in the towel.
Did everything I had been doing before, but there was NO relief.
"I can't do this!"
"I think I want Stadol"
Lisa responded that stadol might make me sleepy and groggy but
wasn't going to take away the pain.
I really didn't think I could take this pain. this was unlike anything
I'd ever ever experienced. There was not getting away from it.
A contraction would start and get worse and worse and oh my GOD
IT'S EVEN WORSE!!! SHIT!
Suddenly I thought I was going to pass out so I was helped to the
bed where I sort of perched one hip and buried my head in Dave's
shoulder. I was kind of moaning/humming/growling and would
get louder as each contraction hit. They were unbelievably painful.
If Lisa and Dave hadn't been there I probably would've run
screaming naked down the hallway. The nurse hooked me up to
a monitor at this point and Dave could watch the contractions
on the strip. They were so intense I couldn't tell when they were
peaking so he'd watch and tell me "Ok, that's the worst of it" and
the midwife would remind me to try to take a deep breath and
relax in the moments before the next contraction would hit.
At some point a contraction hit and I was moaning and had to
hold my breath and push away from the pain. I heard Lisa say
"Sounds like an urge to push to me!" The midwife checked me
again and said "Yep! she's fully dilated"
At that point there was a lot of activity in the room and
Lisa leaned down and said "You're almost there- look at Kate,
when you see the nurse bustling around getting things ready
you know things are really moving"
It turns out I'd gone from 6cm- 10 cm in 45 minutes.
No wonder it was so intense.
Now the pushing.
Growling
Pushing
At some point the midwife handed me a towel- she held
on to the ends and would do a tug of war with me. This made
pushing much more effective.
We knew this baby was going to be big, so the midwife asked
the Dr. to be present in the room for an extra set of hands.
He came in and introduced himself to everyone.
He grabbed my ginger ale and gave me a sip, picked up the
cloth and wiped my forehead and reassured me that he
thought I was working hard and doing a good job.
We were all impressed with how nice he was.
The rest of the pushing is a blur. It hurt. I pushed as hard as
I could and felt like I was turning my body inside out.
Felt like I was splitting myself in half.
At the same time, pushing was better than not pushing.
Dave stayed right with me, giving me sips of ginger ale in
between pushes and encouraging me. Lisa, Jenny and Kate
took turns holding the towel that I pulled on for pushing leverage.
At one point I looked up and Kate was holding the other end
of the towel. I had to laugh. She is so tiny I thought I'd fling her
right over my head into the wall. Lisa later told me that
Kate was sliding across the floor from my pull and Lisa had to
put a foot in the way to block her.
Finally the baby's head was halfway out, and everything got very
quiet and focused.
The Dr. came over to help because the baby's shoulder was stuck
on my pelvic bone. This was the one thing that I knew the midwives
feared during my pregnancy. It felt like the world held it's breath
for just a moment...
With the next contraction I pushed, the Dr. pushed down hard
on my pelvic bone to alter the shape of the opening and Jenny
turned the shoulders,
and out he slipped!!
After an hour of pushing we got to meet little Arlo!
Baby was placed on my stomach for a few minutes, and then
they had to take him out for a minute to be assessed since there
was meconium in the amniotic fluid.
Dave went out with him and they were back in what seemed
like no time. I got to cuddle him and we all chatted while
Lisa and Kate finished up nursing 'chores'
I asked "HEY, where is this almighty powerful feeling I'm
supposed to have?"
"All these frickin natural birth magical woo woo chicks
always talk about
this burst of ENERGY!!
I'm just EXHAUSTED!!
AND HUNGRY!!
Energy?
HA!"
The room felt peaceful. Lisa hung out for awhile and took some
pictures. Dave snuggled the baby. I ate a bagel and sipped a
cup of coffee.
One of the other midwives came in and congratulated us. Another
nurse peeked in and said hello. Things were surprisingly quiet and
normal. We hung out for about an hour in this room before moving
downstairs to another room.
Dave, Arlo and I were all exhausted. We took a few pictures, and
then dimmed the lights. Dave stretched out in the lounge chair, I
settled in the bed, and Arlo snoozed away.
It wasn't easy, but it was exactly the birth that I had hoped for.
Without the support of the midwife, Kate, Lisa and Dave there is no way
I could've done it.
So THANK YOU
Dave
Lisa
Kate
Jenny
and
Big Doc Red
Monday, October 26, 2009
One Week Ago...
One week ago I lay on the bed watching Dancing With the Stars. My contractions were about 4 minutes apart and increasingly uncomfortable. I'd been having contractions since Sunday morning, but now they were really starting to hurt. Dave lay with me. I would breathe my way through and Dave would wipe my forehead with a Lightning McQueen washcloth. I found an Emery board that I would tap/poke into my forehead with each contraction. Somehow I figured out that if I focused on this sensation I could distract myself from the discomfort.
I called my sister to let her know we were thinking of leaving for the hospital soon. We decided to see if we could wait until 11pm when Kate (one of the nurses) started her shift. Lisa was going to meet us there and stay with us to support both of us through the labor since she works there as an L&D nurse. My mother stayed at our house with Auggie.
We arrived at the hospital around 11:30 pm. Lisa was waiting out front. I remember walking in with my soft purple towel and my emery board. We made our way upstairs while Dave got our things from the car and took care of the Valet parking. I stopped to lean against the wall with my face against the soft towel and breathed through another contraction while Lisa waited.
As we went to the elevators I veered off to go in the restroom because having a full bladder made the contractions hurt worse.
Lisa: "You might want to wait, they are gonna want a sample when you get up there"
Me: " Yeah, well they can SUCK IT- it hurts worse when I have to go! Besides, I can tell them, the pregnancy test will be positive"
Upstairs we got in a small room while we waited for a larger birthing room (with a shower) to be cleaned. With each contraction I would lean on the wall with my face against that towel, tap my forehead with the emery board and breathe. The car ride made me really sick to my stomach so I complained about that to whoever would listen. Dave arrived, and the midwife (Jenny) arrived as well. She checked me and said I was dilated almost 5 cm. "THAT'S IT??!!!!"
I couldn't believe it after all these hours of contractions!! CRAP!
The midwife was in and out, offering suggestions for managing pain.
Kate was a fantastic nurse. She monitored me without keeping me constantly attached
to a machine so I was able to get up an move around. She was quiet, but present. Lisa, Jenny, and Kate were reassuring because they all have a true understanding that labor is not a crisis, not an emergency, but a process.
Dave was fantastic- attune to the contractions, gentle, soothing, the perfect partner
Lisa was steady and helpful- reminding me that I was managing the pain and that I could do this.
The next hours brought a move to the larger room
a warm shower
lots of standing and rocking while leaning against my purple towel
Sips of cola and ginger ale
constant pats with the cool cloth on my forehead
many registered complaints- just so nobody would forget that I was hurting.
More later...
I called my sister to let her know we were thinking of leaving for the hospital soon. We decided to see if we could wait until 11pm when Kate (one of the nurses) started her shift. Lisa was going to meet us there and stay with us to support both of us through the labor since she works there as an L&D nurse. My mother stayed at our house with Auggie.
We arrived at the hospital around 11:30 pm. Lisa was waiting out front. I remember walking in with my soft purple towel and my emery board. We made our way upstairs while Dave got our things from the car and took care of the Valet parking. I stopped to lean against the wall with my face against the soft towel and breathed through another contraction while Lisa waited.
As we went to the elevators I veered off to go in the restroom because having a full bladder made the contractions hurt worse.
Lisa: "You might want to wait, they are gonna want a sample when you get up there"
Me: " Yeah, well they can SUCK IT- it hurts worse when I have to go! Besides, I can tell them, the pregnancy test will be positive"
Upstairs we got in a small room while we waited for a larger birthing room (with a shower) to be cleaned. With each contraction I would lean on the wall with my face against that towel, tap my forehead with the emery board and breathe. The car ride made me really sick to my stomach so I complained about that to whoever would listen. Dave arrived, and the midwife (Jenny) arrived as well. She checked me and said I was dilated almost 5 cm. "THAT'S IT??!!!!"
I couldn't believe it after all these hours of contractions!! CRAP!
The midwife was in and out, offering suggestions for managing pain.
Kate was a fantastic nurse. She monitored me without keeping me constantly attached
to a machine so I was able to get up an move around. She was quiet, but present. Lisa, Jenny, and Kate were reassuring because they all have a true understanding that labor is not a crisis, not an emergency, but a process.
Dave was fantastic- attune to the contractions, gentle, soothing, the perfect partner
Lisa was steady and helpful- reminding me that I was managing the pain and that I could do this.
The next hours brought a move to the larger room
a warm shower
lots of standing and rocking while leaning against my purple towel
Sips of cola and ginger ale
constant pats with the cool cloth on my forehead
many registered complaints- just so nobody would forget that I was hurting.
More later...
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Arlo
Arlo has brought a little bit of mellow to the house.Much needed and hoping it continues.
He sleeps, eats, makes little squirley noises, and
looks around with his big brown eyes.
I'm feeling guilty for not having all my time for Auggie.
I just wanna hug him close and let him know "I'm SO SORRY!!",
but I know having a little brother will be a wonderful thing eventually.
The hormones have hit and with them have come evening crying
spells. I seem to remember that this passes in about a week or so,
or at least I hope so. It is making me feel a little crazy.
Dave took Auggie out for quality time today- they went to
Build a Bear (more on that later) and had pizza for lunch.
Will write about Arlo's birth in a day or so. At the moment when
I have some free time I mostly just feel like laying around.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
What NOT To Say
My Mother (to me at 39 weeks) :
"So I'm talking to people and you know how some pregnant women just have this little bump in front. I said, NOT MY DAUGHTER!! She looks just like that sun in the Jimmy Dean Commercials. Ya know, I told them? She's just ROUND!! " "I hope that doesn't offend you."
Me:
____ (?) ___(?!) ____(?!@#$#***!!!)
At least it's better than last pregnancy when she poked me in the arm at 39 weeks and said "I'm trying to figure out if that is weight gain or swelling"
Sigh.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Fall
My sweet boy climbed and played and romped
all over at Webers last week. He discovered apple
cider and it's his new fav. He sucks it back and
declares "MORE HAPPY JUICE!!!"
He's verbal and singing and adorable while at the
same time asserting his independence more and
more.
The other day Auggie went to work with Dave
and had a FANTASTIC time. He packed his backpack,
put on his hat and proudly walked out the door to
"go to work!". According to Dave he would declare
"C'MON everybody" every time he left a room.
He climbed the set, wore a hardhat, crawled under drapes,
somehow found a mask (a duck's bill) and quacked his
way through the shop.
When he came home he was wiped out.
I'm in a state of waiting. Waiting for this baby to
be born. I've hit a rough patch with my hormones
going nuts. I'm irritable and raging one minute and
weepy sad and remorseful the next. I can only imagine
that I'm horrendous to be around, and I'm finding that
knowing you are being crazy doesn't make it any less crazy.
I've pretty much stopped answering the phone because I
just don't have much to say. I seem to remember feeling
this way before Auggie was born too.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Bigger
I can't possibly get any bigger.
Weber's Farm today.
Hot
Boys were cute
I went from shady spot to shady spot and sat
Feel like I should be writing this in Haiku format
Pics later
Weber's Farm today.
Hot
Boys were cute
I went from shady spot to shady spot and sat
Feel like I should be writing this in Haiku format
Pics later
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Saint Theresa
After 5 days.
Gone!
No pain!
I feel lighter than air.
I you see a large pregnant woman float by your window
think nothing of it, that's just me.
You got nothin' on me Theresa, you crazy ol' lady!!!
Ecstasy? I HEAR YOU SISTER!!!
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