"Shitty" Day

Rain
Rain
Rain
The grass is wet, the ground is soaked

My dog hates to go out in the rain so he proceeds to
stick his head out the dog door and pee on the floor.
He also won't go out to poop so he holds it
and holds it, and holds it until....oops..
he jumps on the sofa or makes some other effort and
a little turd drops out behind him. This is DISGUSTING


Dave had to work tonight.
Bummer
Auggie and I are hanging out in the living room.
I put a tray on the couch with veges and rice and
cheese. He is snacking and periodically picking up
food and offering it to me.
I check my e-mail and am not really paying attention.
He climbs over to me and smiles with an outstretched hand.
That is when I realize he is handing me a DOG TURD
As I pick him up to carry into the kitchen to boil his hands,
he starts breaking it into bits leaving a trail the whole way!
(#$@%%***)

After I cleaned up the parts of my brain that splattered on the
walls when my head exploded I sterilized
my child
myself
my floors
and then I
stuffed a cork up my dog's ass for good measure.

2 Questions

1. When did I become so controlling?
2. When did I completely lose control?

Auggie is turned around in his high chair smearing
pirogi innards all over the back.
Mole is frozen under the chair staring at the floor waiting
for crumbs to fall.
Daisy runs by with a toy maraca in her mouth. It is singing
loudly "Shake it up baby!!". She drops it out in the driveway
and comes back inside.

I stand Auggie up and wipe him off as best I can.
We go to the living room and he heads straight for the
electric cords.
Daisy is now ON TOP of the dining table
licking the high chair tray clean.

to Auggie "NO TOUCH"
to Daisy "GET DOWN"

Mole pees...

I try to let things go.
I try not to worry about dirty baseboards and dusty TV's.
My new way of coping is to leave little notes for Dave in the dust.
At least it makes me smile when I see them.

Saturday Morning Fiasco

Mole has a Urinary Tract Infection.
He has gotten them since he was a puppy and I know the signs.
So this morning I phoned the vet who said
"Bring a sample"

Out back in my PJ's and bare feet
I say to Mole "go pee"
He runs down the stairs and I follow dutifully with my
little tupperware container.
He starts to pee and I put the container under him.
He looks at me like I'm nuts, runs away and starts to pee elsewhere.

I run after him, dodging the land mines the dogs have left
all over the yard.
Again I put the tupperware under him and again he runs
Down to the end of the driveway, pause...pee...container...run

I chase him back up the driveway...pause..pee...container...run

He runs behind the garage..pause..pee....
Quietly I sneak up and
GOT YA!!!
I got the sample.
By then my feet are freezing and I'm cracking up at how silly I must look.
I'm praying that the neighbors weren't watching.

The things we do for love.

25 things #3

#3

He sleeps much of the day
Waiting
Waiting
Ears perk, body tenses
groan, garble, bark bark bark

Now near hysteria because
DAVE IS HOME!!
He'll talk to Dave in a series of
low groans and grumbles now as
if scolding him for being away too long.

Yes, I had him for years before I even
knew Dave, but to Mole....
Dave is the bomb.

I'll never get sick of my beautiful
quirky dogs- so full of personality.

Sigh

I am napping with Auggie and the phone rings.
Blab blab...
I hear Dave's key in the door and walk downstairs.
I've been baking all day and want Dave to sample some of
the new cookies I've baked.
I see torn up paper on the carpet.
"Oh crap, did the dogs get into something?"
Dave is standing there with an slightly annoyed/amused
look on his face.

"It's butter; Daisy greeted me at the door with a piece of wrapper
stuck to her face"

We found the box. The dogs ate an entire pound of butter.
Now they are laying around looking uncomfortable.

Great.

Should be a fun night.

Sigh.