"Shitty" Day

Rain
Rain
Rain
The grass is wet, the ground is soaked

My dog hates to go out in the rain so he proceeds to
stick his head out the dog door and pee on the floor.
He also won't go out to poop so he holds it
and holds it, and holds it until....oops..
he jumps on the sofa or makes some other effort and
a little turd drops out behind him. This is DISGUSTING


Dave had to work tonight.
Bummer
Auggie and I are hanging out in the living room.
I put a tray on the couch with veges and rice and
cheese. He is snacking and periodically picking up
food and offering it to me.
I check my e-mail and am not really paying attention.
He climbs over to me and smiles with an outstretched hand.
That is when I realize he is handing me a DOG TURD
As I pick him up to carry into the kitchen to boil his hands,
he starts breaking it into bits leaving a trail the whole way!
(#$@%%***)

After I cleaned up the parts of my brain that splattered on the
walls when my head exploded I sterilized
my child
myself
my floors
and then I
stuffed a cork up my dog's ass for good measure.