Meet Moldy Head the Pirate

Meet Moldy Head the Pirate.
I think Dave got him at some white elephant thing.
He has perched atop our teeny tiny Christmas Tree
for the last several years. The rest of the year he
hangs from a string in the corner of the living room.
I can't quite remember how we started calling him
Moldy Head.

Somehow we got into a discussion about what to tell
Auggie about Santa... One of those things neither of us
has strong feelings about, but I do have some issues with
trying to convince him that Santa exists. It just feels like
it would totally suck to believe in Santa and then find out
it is all a sham!

SOO
Instead of Santa we decided to tell Auggie about
Moldy Head the Pirate! We just have to come up
with a good story. The fun thing about coming up with
our own story is that Auggie can have a starring role.
None of this Rudolf crap. Auggie can own the imposing
pirate ship where Moldy gathers loot from the oceans
of the world. He can be king of the pirates! Big Gay
Lion can look after the worker pirates while Auggie is
home with his parents! Crunchy Dog will guard the holds!
His pirate underlings will deliver his share of the booty
from across the South Seas every Christmas morning.

Story still taking shape.
Open to suggestions...