Rattle Can

I'm upstairs at Wegman's and realize I didn't tell my mother
where to meet us in the store. I dial her cell phone and after
it rings once or twice I realize this is pointless because she
almost never has her phone (and when she does it is usually not on!).

A few minutes later my phone rings and low and behold,
it is my mother calling me back.
I answer:

Hello?

rumbling
car noise
hiss

Hello?

hiss
more car noise

HELLO?

oh, oh, (fumble noise) MARNI??!!!
(she sounds completely shocked that it would be me on the phone despite the fact that she called ME!!)

This goes hand in hand with her camera talents.
She was recently in Italy and I helped her upload her photos.


Me: Oh, there are a few videos here.
Mom: I didn't take any videos!
Me: Oh yeah...?

I open one of the videos.
It is a perfectly composed shot of a building.
Pause... (she thinks she is taking a photo)
Then the camera moves, and you see my mother's
feet walking the cobblestone
streets of Florence. Pitter pat, pitter pat...
Then the camera is lifted again and an image of a bakery
comes into view.
Pause.
She still thinks she is taking pictures.
Then the image turns sideways.
Pause.
(I guess she wanted a picture in portrait view as well.)
The camera goes back down....Then you
see her feet again--- Pitter pat, Pitter pat....
and you hear her whisper
"Hee hee, I just took a picture of FOOD..." Pitter pat, Pitter pat.
I could not stop laughing.
There were ELEVEN videos just like this!!!
(To her credit she did manage to take 200 some pictures as well)

This is why we affectionately call my mother "Rattle Can"
(sorry mom)